But

*wake up from my dream and suddenly i got a new text from him*

My wrong for expect too much from you. Im sorry eqhmal
I tahu you jenis lelaki yang macam mana thats why i trust you once. Cuma yang salah i
i yang terlalu berharap.



I dream so big and then i fall so hard

I wish i had never to met you not because youre doing bad or anything just nothing. i hate to handle myself about this. im a weak not even strong. never actually.

Then there would be no need to impress you no need to want you no need for loving you
no need for crying over you no need for heartbreaks no need for pain or tears no need for forgotten promises. no need for crying myself to sleep no need for acting like you care no need for everything you have done to make me feel like absolutely nothing.


I need you. because you can make me laugh more than anyone else and i am the best me when i am with you and because you are gone nothing feels right.


But i know i cant get you.


I really hope one day, there's a guy who will love me as abah love my mom. a guy who will staring at  me like you do when youre looking at 'her'.

But you are not easy to forget


when we first met i have no idea you would be so important to me


But now, its back  to the way we started

STRANGERS


you told me for find someone who can takecare of me means a guy like you? i dont think so. maybe i shoud stop hurting myself for loving somenone. stop teaching my heart for being hurt. stop telling myself to be strong for everytimes. no i cant. thats all about you. im a weak!

Can you understand me?

that it is slightly difficult  for me to open to someone because all my life, people leave me. they all just leave...and i have been keeping it inside so long, i cant get close to anyone anymore because like i said i am broken.


But i have no reason to fight for you but a good reason is letting you go.


I love you nope i dont.  I just cant... believe it what kind of this.
" there is no way words or how much tears you cried to describe how a broken heart feels"

And i know i still have Allah.

Allah is eveything. so dont be too silly.


and i still have my dear parents, and friends too


But i just dont know............*sigh*.

Because its time to leave those feeling behind.

Dont compare your love story to those you watch in movies. they are written by scriptwriters,

yours is written by Allah.

And every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you will never get back

.......

..

Hmmm

I hate that feeling.
that feeling when you are sad but you have no idea why
you feel so empty but nothing in particular happened


They ask you whats wrong but you cant explain
or they dont even ask anything.

I dont know which one is worse
It just feels like i miss someone i never met
like i need someone who doesn't need me


The loneliness hovers over me. takes control over me. i dont even care. i isolate myself
on purpose. sadness becomes my best and only friend

I start hating myself and i want everybody to leave me alone


At the same time, i want someone to hug me and tell to me things will be okay
I simply hate that feeling


That feeling when you dont even know what the truth youre feeling.

**************